Saturday, March 7, 2009

where the hell am i?

Never noticed how lost i am in this world already. I swear i'm getting eaten up alive, and i'm scared. I have no connection with God anymore :( Whenever i have problems, I just walk away from them. Ugh, I'm tired of it. Where did i go wrong from this? Now i'm back in to the horrible habbits i once had. It ain't a good feeling anymore. Why am i pushing God away? I never felt so scared. Not scared in the sense of dying. But spiritually scared. Where did my love for God go? Why am i pushing everything out of my life? I have never felt so lost and confused. Through all the problems i'm going through, I haven't once asked God for help. I keep thinking that i can do this all by myself. I know i thought wrong.

I don't wanna run anymore. So much stress has been put against me, such as school, family, and learning to keep up with everything else. It's been so hard. And still not getting enough sleep because i'm scared of dreaming. How horrible already. I'm tired of crying, stressin', thinking to much. It affected a lot of things. I need to start turning to God, because i know i can't do this alone.

i'm so so so sorrrry lord, i know i'm a sinnner. ):

1 comment:

ivonyjoy, said...

shall we talk babygirl? -

we can schedule something -
sip some coffeee at starbucks (: